Enjoy The Silence
by Tainted Princess
Summary: At the end of the day, and more so, at the darkest times, when you're all alone, you'll always have one friend: the silence. It's peaceful, soothing, and maybe that's why Jade has learned to enjoy it, only... she's not so alone anymore. *Trigger warning*


_Full Moon_

Despite her taste for dark/scary things, to just stay there, at her balcony, propping her elbows against the rail staring at the full moon in all her glory was something Jade found very entertaining, to say the least.

 _How beautiful, how pure, how far, far away._

Sometimes, when she thought about it, she had this weird idea popping into her head every time, since she was little: maybe the moon was there to watch over her sleep, like a dream-guard or something; maybe she cared about each and every person, and accompanied both their worst nightmares and their happiest dreams. It was a sweet concept, comforting even, to think that maybe, at some place in the universe, there was at least someone who gave two shits about the others and cared the enough to look out for them at the darkest time of the day.

The night was cold and breezy, but she liked it that way. She liked it to take in big, refreshing breaths and the sensation of the freezing breeze caressing her pale skin almost to the point of hurting, because that's what made it feel real: pain.

Those nights relaxed her, as if all her worries were forgotten, frozen in time, and she liked that.

 _ **Words like violence**_

 _ **Break the Silence**_

Nonetheless, calm and peace never lasted long enough, not for her, at least. After a while, nights like that would bring to her head so, so many memories, ones darker than others.

 _ **Come crashing**_

 _ **Into my little world**_

 _"Richard, please, calm down" Mom's begging Dad._

 _"Get the fuck out of here, Amelia! Goddamn it!" Dad's angry, his voice is raspy and his face is red. He has an empty bottle on his left hand._

 _"Mom, Dad, what's happening?" The door of Dad's study was half open._

 _"Oh, Jadelyn, go back to your room I'll be_ _—_ _" Mom tries to make you leave._

 _"Why can't you just fucking understand that I want to be fucking alone right now?!" Dad slaps Mom. Mom falls to the floor. Dad pushes you out of the room and closes the door on your face, before you can do anything. At the other side you hear your Dad's hateful snarls and your Mom's painful cries. The unmistakable sound of big hands colliding with fragile skin._

 _ **Painful to me**_

 _ **Pierce right through me**_

She released a trembling sigh, closing her eyes shut, gritting her teeth until her jaw hurt and clenching her fists tight until her knuckles turned white.

 _Think of something else to forget about that, think of something else to forget about that, something else, something else..._

"Can't sleep?" _Cat_. Jade's eyes snapped open and instantly her head turned to the melodious sound of the redhead's voice. She was leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, smiling softly. The goth released a breath she didn't know she was holding and just shook her head 'no' "What are you doing out here? It's freezing" Cat walked towards her, shivering a little, hugging herself. Jade noticed it and when she took place beside her she wrapped her cold arms around her slim figure from behind "God, thank you" She snaked one arm around Jade's neck and nuzzled her nose into her cheek affectionately.

A few minutes passed in complete silence, and Jade felt herself getting lost in the moment, in the night, in the embrace they shared, in the quiet halo that set around both of them, and the calm it brought her.

"You think she can see us?" Jade's gaze traveled from the clear sky to her partner "The Moon, I mean" She just stared at the chocolate brown orbs that were still glancing towards the celestial body "You think she's here for us and our dreams?" Jade had no doubt, then: no matter how opposites they were (or maybe because of it), they understood each other somehow; maybe not all the time, and maybe not about all the things, but they had a connection beyond their own comprehension, and that was something Jade really treasured (even if sometimes she didn't show it), and she was sure Cat did, too.

 _ **Don't you understand?**_

 _ **Oh, my little girl**_

Neither of them knew how much longer they stood there without uttering a single word, but they didn't care, either; if it was up to them, they would've kept on like that forever, but it had to be a loud sneeze (then another, and another) from the goth's part the one breaking the quiet moment. Cat giggled.

"I think we should go back inside" She suggested with a small grin on her face. Spending so much time outside wearing nothing more than a light t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants was taking its toll, but it was only when Cat broke the hug that Jade started to shiver a little.

Once inside, the shorter girl closed the sliding door and took the taller's hand to guide her to the bed. Jade never knew why Cat did that if it was her room, but it portrayed very well how Jade saw her and Cat's relationship: in the dark, Cat would always be the one who guided her to a safe place.

When they reached the soft surface of the mattress both took their respective places: Cat hiding her face in Jade's chest, Jade's nose buried in Cat's hair, arms wrapped around each other in a tight hug.

 _ **All I ever wanted**_

 _ **All I ever needed**_

 _ **Is here, in my arms**_

Cat quickly drifted off into a deep sleep, but Jade didn't.

Cat's hair smelled so good, a smell that surprisingly wasn't annoying for Jade, the exact opposite; she thought it had the perfect amount of sweetness, not too much as to irritate your nose, but the enough to be pleasant, addictive even. She took in a deep breath. _Lavender._

Jade liked quiet moments, but sometimes, at nights like that, she couldn't stop her mind from remember.

 _ **Words are very unnecessary**_

 _"Daddy, look!" You extend the sheet of paper to Daddy (who's currently talking over the phone), with a bright smile on your 5-year-old face. He doesn't even look at you, though "Daddy, just look!" He's gonna be so proud of you, he might even beam a smile at you. Daddy has never smiled at you or Mommy._

 _"Can't you see I'm busy Jadelyn?" He raised his voice, and that normally makes you back off, but not this time. You want to make him happy._

 _"Yes, Daddy, I know, but please, just look at this!" It's totally worth it, or at least you think so "Daddy, please just two seconds!" You grab his coat tugging at it "Daddy, Daddy!"_

 _"Yes, I know_ _—_ _Wait, what? I can't hear you..."_

 _"Daddy, look! You have to see this! Please just_ _—_ _"_

 _"Not now, Jadelyn_ _—_ _What? No, it wasn't..."_

 _"But Daddy_ _—_ _"_

 _"ENOUGH!" His strong voice scares you. He covers the speaker with one hand "Yes, I already saw that fucking paper, your mother showed it to me hours ago! You drew a house and a family, SO WHAT?! You both are so stupid you actually think I would care about something so worthless like this?!" He takes the paper from your hands, roughly "You feel special for this waste of space? This doesn't mean shit! Don't be such an idiot and grow up already, Jadelyn!" He balls up the paper contemptuously and throws it aside, the ball landing at somewhere on the large room as he 'composes' himself "Now get the hell out of my study, and don't comeback unless you've got something really important to show me" He puts the phone back on his ear, returning to his conversation._

That was the last time Jade showed her father anything, because even at the age of five she knew, by instinct or whatever, that no matter what she did, no matter how hard she could work her arse off, that would never be enough to him, never be important to him.

 _ **They can only do harm**_

Still without being able to fall asleep, the goth was tempted to go back to the balcony, but Cat was a light sleeper (it was a real challenge to make it to the balcony the first time), and even if she weren't, the tangled position they were in wouldn't allow her for much movement without waking the redhead up; not that she was uncomfortable, either.

To get distracted she carefully pulled back the enough to be able to see Cat's face. It was possible for her to distinguish every single feature of her angelic face thanks to the nightlight she bought after the first time they had a sleepover at her house. Cat hated darkness (how she liked Jade was a mystery for the goth); for her, it was the scariest thing in the entire world. So, after turning the lights off and having to see her freak out that night back when they were twelve, Jade made sure herself to always have something to illuminate their nights together, no matter if it had to be one miserable candle; there had to always be something. She had to protect Cat (just like the redhead always did to her), even from the nonexistent monsters she feared so much that lived in the darkness.

The dim light caressed Cat's face in such a beautiful way; to Jade it was almost artistic. She looked so calm, so relaxed, lost in dreamland and probably her own world.

Long eyelashes closed, their shadow cascading onto her cheekbones; peach pink lips slightly open, silky hair furiously red splayed across the dark-blue pillow, a loose strand falling onto her cute little nose _—_ Jade reached her hand to grab it softly and put it back behind her ear, fingertips brushing all the way down her jawline in the process.

She felt somewhat like a creep for staring at Cat while she was asleep, but she couldn't help it; it was her fault for being so gorgeous. Jade chuckled at the thought as she felt her eyelids become heavy. Cat always had this effect on her, without even notice, she transmitted Jade her peace.

She fell asleep only moments later.

 _Dad's at work; Mom went to the supermarket and she's not coming back for at least another half an hour, so you're all by yourself at your dark, empty house._

 _Since you're a big girl (proudly almost ten) Mom let you stay at home with the condition of you being a good girl and not going outside, not playing with fire, not answering unknown phone calls, and all that stuff immature little kids do._

 _You don't quite like to stay at your house alone, and that's because you feel like it drowns you with its enormity, its sorrowful loneliness. It is almost unbearable to you, but today wanted to make Mom happy, to prove her that, at least, of all the things in her world that are falling apart, you're still here for her to help her in whatever she needs, that includes taking care of yourself even if it means staying at the house all alone._

 _You've always been a strange child (no matter how many times Mom has told you you're perfectly normal): a reserved, quiet girl, so unlike the other noisy ones, you're not very interested about things most kids are._

 _Today is different, though._

 _Today, for some odd reason you can't quite put your finger on, from the moment Mom left, you fell into a deep, hopeless boredom that not even cutting paper to shreds with your favorite pair of scissors seemed to calm. So, you couldn't help but wander all over the house, searching for something (anything) to entertain you._

 _That way is how you ended up walking down the hall of the second floor only to notice the large mahogany door that led to your parent's bedroom was slightly open instead of zealously locked as usual. But the most surprising thing is that even though you've never been a really curious kid, this time your childish impulses got the best of you and basically forced you to go in there, almost walking on your tip toes as if to not get caught._

 _Unbeknownst to you that you were going to find a crucial part of your childhood memories hidden among many other insignificant objects inside that room._

 _And that's how you find yourself here now, sitting on the black leather couch of the living room, after snooping through the contents of a very personal-looking fancy box belonging to Mom, watching the video you found with a label that read 'Our Wedding'._

 _Your head's been tilted to the side in confusion since the video started, because despite your age you're a very logical person, and what your eyes are seeing in these moments doesn't make sense at all. It just seems so unreal, fantastic, even._

 _"Now, your votes" Indicates the priest softly before a younger (happier) version of your parents turn to face each other, smiles on._

 _"I, Amelia Mason, promise to honor you as my husband for the rest of my days. I promise you that no matter what I'll be by your side to love you and support you through thick and thin, for always and forever" Mom, instead of red, puffy eyes and a sad, nostalgic face, is smiling so lovingly, so carefree towards Dad, and her eyes look so young and hopeful, as if she knows she's just about to live a great life; you didn't know she could wear an expression like that. But the next thing is the most shocking one._

 _"I, Richard West, promise to love you unconditionally. I will always honor you and respect you as my wife, no matter what. Now that we're joining our lives, we will be more than just a marriage, we're becoming one, and I promise you that, until the end of days, we will always be together" You know is Dad only because he said his name. Of course his younger features are a little different, but instead of his usual severe scowl he looks so calm, so gentle, caring even, that you have to rub your eyes to make sure they're not creating this odd scene to make you a bad joke._

 _Some people wipe their tears, others cheer enthusiastically, and some others just smile warmly as the priest gives the green light and your parents kiss, but you don't really pay attention to the next part of the video anymore since you're deep in thought, wondering how in this world your parents could have been like that but mostly, what happened after that that made them go from happy, in-love persons to... this? Somewhere, deep inside your mind, though, there is a little voice that whispers that maybe they always were like this (specially Dad), and that would mean all those words, albeit beautiful, were no more than simple but catastrophic lies._

 _ **Vows are spoken**_

 _ **To be broken**_

* * *

"Wakie wakie, Jadey" Spoke Cat's soft voice, bringing Jade back from that not particularly bad but not very pleasant either, dream/memory "Since today is Saturday I thought we could go out on a date! Would you like to?" She asked excited, opening wide those big chocolate brown eyes, beaming at the goth. Even though Jade didn't really like being outside, it had been a while since they went out on a real date, just the two of them. So, she slowly agreed with a nod of her head and a small smile "YAAAY!" Cat squealed in joy jumping out of the bed, bouncing up and down on her tiptoes "Thank you, Jadey! I promise you it'll be GREAT!" She ran towards the bed again to wrap her in one of those Cat's special bone-crushing hugs, rubbing her cheek against the paler girl's "Oh, I love you SO much!" She kissed Jade's already hot cheek soundly "We're gonna have SO much fun! Thank you, thank you, thank you! OH, this merits something special! Wait right here, I'm gonna make the most delicious breakfast you've ever eaten! Call you when it's ready!" And with that she released the taller girl (allowing her to finally breathe [which she immediately did]) and ran out of the room.

After recovering, just when she was about to get out of bed to look for the clothes she was going to wear the redhead entered the room running with a spatula on her right hand.

"I almost forgot!" Then she closed the distance and crashed her lips with Jade's wildly, but as soon as it came it was gone. She parted only the enough to let her hot breath tickle Jade's skin "Good morning, Jadey" And for the second time she was out of the room, leaving Jade with a stupid grin on her face.

 _ **Feelings are intense**_

 _ **Words are trivial**_

* * *

"Bye Mr. And Mrs. West! We'll come back later!" Cat said with a big smile on her face when both were at the front door. Jade waved them goodbye and then closed it.

They started walking down the street. Jade's arm around Cat's shoulders loosely but firmly, the redhead leaning on the goth's side, hugging her back.

They chose to walk, since there wasn't any hurry and both wanted to spend as much time together as possible on their date; besides, the weather was incredibly nice.

"So, I was thinking, seeing that is pretty early, that we could go to various places. Look! I already made a list!" Cat handed a carefully folded pink paper to Jade, the smile on her face being more of a proud grin than a smirk, even though she tried (Jade noticed). She examined the small piece of paper and the things that were written on it and indeed, the shorter girl apparently had it all planned, from start to end (the first number of the list read _Show the list to Jadey_ , even), but that wasn't something that bothered Jade at all, it was the exact opposite: she was grateful Cat was the one picking their activities for the day, that way she didn't take the risk of picking something Cat wouldn't like, making her unhappy. As long as the redhead was happy, she was too (as unbearably cheesy as it sounded), even if that meant going to the bloody pet store and the damn Freezy Queen. _Oh, well, things you do for love_ , Jade thought (not without a grimace after realizing how stupid that sounded).

The walk was silent, as usual, but none of them seemed to care; they loved it that way.

* * *

"Oh my GOD look at this little thing!" Cat ran towards Jade, who was standing at a corner of the pet store, avoiding any contact with the animals "Look, Jadey! You NEED to see it, it's like, the cutest thing ever!" She grabbed a hold of Jade's hand before said girl could even react and dragged her across the store to the dog cages. She stopped in front of a specific cage that had inside a little siberian husky puppy that looked very happy to see them, as if the simple sight of people could make its day. Cat let out a childlike giggle before speaking again "See? Told you it was beautiful! Wouldn't it be great to take it home? It'd be awesome to have it as a new friend!" That last sentence was all Jade's despicable mind needed. She stared at the animal and the redhead noticed there was something different within her blueish green eyes.

Cat knew then: Jade wasn't with her anymore.

 _"Jadelyn!" Calls Mom from downstairs, an excited little smile can be heard in her voice._

 _"Coming!" 8-year-old you answers, and right away you're getting up from the floor (leaving your book for later) and heading towards the place Mom is (probably the living room); it's the first time in months she sounds somewhat happy. Not long after, you find her sitting on the sofa (you were right about the living room) looking at you with this expectant glint in her eyes "Why did you call me, Mom?" Her grin grows wider._

 _"Well, I've got something for you" Your face lits up._

 _"But it is not my birthday yet" You're curious though._

 _"That doesn't matter. I've been thinking, and you must feel lonely without a friend" Your mouth opens but she continues "Don't try and say otherwise, I know you don't get along with the kids in your class" You feel a little ashamed about Mom knowing that. You never meant to add a new worry to her never-ending list "So, it wouldn't be bad for you if I give you one" A friend? Did she hire_ _someone to play with you or something like that?_

 _"A new friend?" As if on cue a high bark resonates and is promptly followed by the owner of the sound coming from behind Mom's back: the cutest husky puppy of the entire universe!_

 _"Oh, my god! Mom, he's so beautiful! Is he really for me?" The puppy jumped off the sofa to stand by your side, tugging at your pants, barking ecstatic, his big grey eyes and black and white fur shining._

 _"Yes, it is, if you want him. And that means it is going to be your responsability to take care of him, feed him, take him out for his walks, clean after he does his needs_ _—_ _"_

 _"Yes! I promise you I'll take care of him, Mom! You're the best!" But before you can run and hug your Mom gratefully the front door opens and it's slammed closed loudly._

 _"Amelia! Where the hell are you?!" Dad didn't have a good day, apparently. Mom's face is instantly filled with fear, and you can see a light trembling on her hands._

 _"R-Richard, I'm at the l-living room" Heavy footsteps are getting closer, and for some reason you have a feeling that what's going to come is nothing good._

 _"What is all that_ _—_ _" Dad's eyes land on the puppy sitting beside your left foot "What the fuck is that?" He asks, evident anger starting to boil up on his voice._

 _"Richard, let me explain yo_ _—_ _"_

 _"I asked you a question, Amelia. What the fuck is that and why is it in my house?" Mom suddenly looks like a fragile, harmless, trapped little animal, just waiting in fright for the moment the hunter comes and gets it and, unfortunately, that would be Dad._

 _"Richard, please. I just thought_ _—_ _"_

 _"No! You didn't think a fucking thing!" He's stepping closer to Mom "Because if you would've then you wouldn't have bought a goddamn animal with MY money and brought it to MY goddamn house!" SLAP. Dad slapped Mom, causing her to fall off the sofa with tears in her eyes and a very red cheek. Tears start to form on your eyes too as you fight back any sound from coming out of your mouth. He doesn't like it when you try to stick up for Mom. He ends up hurting her even more. Suddenly, his furious face turns to you and then to the puppy "That stupid thing is not going to stay in my house!" He takes the innocent animal roughly with one of his big hands and starts walking towards the door. You're crying now. He can't take it, he just can't, that puppy is your new and only friend! Mom had to go through this because she wanted you to have him!_

 _"No, Dad, please! Please let him stay! I'll do_ _—_ _"_

 _"Shut the fuck up if you don't want to end up like her!" He points at Mom, who hasn't moved an inch while giving her a disgusted look "This is all your fault! You'll learn you never do things without asking me first!" And with that he's out of the door, taking your now scared puppy with him. You bend down to hug Mom and let her cry on your shoulder even though you're crying too._

Jade never knew what happened to that poor little dog; she could only hope he didn't suffer too much.

"Jadey?" Cat's voice brought her back to reality. The puppy was no longer looking at them (maybe he got bored) and she noticed some people's stares, probably wondering in what kind of trance she was immerse just mere seconds ago "Are you okay, Jadey?" Cat's face showed huge concern as she touched Jade's arm softly, trying to reassure her. After a few moments, when Cat's gesture finally melted away the pain of the memory, Jade slowly nodded her head. She could tell by the look on her face that the redhead didn't completely believe her, but she didn't push any further. She never did, and Jade appreciated that "Y-you know? We've been here too much time. We can go somewhere else! What about the park? Is the next one on the list. Let's go!" She took one last glance at the puppy to wave it goodbye before running out of the store basically hauling Jade with her, heading to their next destination, wanting to get there as soon as possible.

She hated it when Jade was sad; she herself made a promise a long time ago to always keep her happy (or at least to try it), no matter what. She deserved it, and more so after all she'd been through _—_ besides, if the goth was happy, she was too.

* * *

"And... here we are!" Cat sing-sang when they arrived their favorite place: an empty, very remote meadow in the depths of the park, with little flowers all over the place of many pretty colors and surrounded by the tallest trees ever (according to Cat), giving a light, nice smell of flowers and wood. It had the right size for the both of them, not too large and not too small; a perfect view of the sunset and to top it all, due to the lack of people, it was always quiet "I swear this place becomes more beautiful every time we come!" Cat exclaimed as they approached their usual spot under the pleasant shadow of the biggest oak tree. Jade nodded her head in agreement. It was true; besides her balcony on full moon, this was her favorite place to feel like her only worry was just to breathe.

Once they got there, without a word Cat sat down, slowly followed by Jade who took a sit beside her, their legs touching _—_ nothing dirty or something (at least not at that specific moment) but just the need of feel the touch of the other somehow; it was soothing.

The grass underneath them felt soft and a little wet under Jade's palms, the moment finally allowing her to relax. She let her arm make its way around Cat's shoulders, her fingers starting to caress the velvety red locks of her hair absent-mindedly as the shorter girl adjusted her position to lean into the goth's side. She buried her face on her jacket for a moment, taking in a deep breath of Jade's strong but feminine scent; it always made her smile. It felt like home. She snaked one arm loosely around the goth's torso and rested her head above her chest, listening to the calming, rhythmic beat of her heart and closed her eyes, a small grin on her lips.

Meanwhile, Jade's mind kept on working, taking her to the memories of her turbid past, but this time to a rather bittersweet one. At least the beginning always brought her a nice feeling.

 _You're in class, sitting at your usual spot at the corner of the room, all alone as always._

 _Your teacher is late (something weird on Mrs. Johnson), so everybody's enjoying themselves: some girls (you never bothered on asking nor learning their names) are chatting about rainbows, kitties, ponnies or whatever they think is cute; some boys are playing with a paper ball they're throwing to one another all over the room; the nerds of the class are studying for the test you're having when you go to college... MANY people in this room are making some kind of noise, and it's starting to annoy you._

 _Unlike them (even if you're an 11-year-old too) you like to spend your time sitting here, in silence, cutting to shreds some useless papers you found on the floor, just waiting for the teacher to arrive and start the boring class that even being something so tedious you like better than your house. Everything's better than your house, more so lately._

 _As if on cue the door opens to reveal the aged woman that is your teacher. Your eyes would have come back to the scissors on your right hand if it weren't for that one odd thing that doesn't quite fit in the picture: following close behind Mrs. Johnson there is a very small girl with curly brown hair, the biggest, purest chocolate brown eyes and a huge, happy, kind smile on her face; she's also wearing the pinkest, girliest dress ever made._

 _They say the first impression is the most important one, well... you're sure you'll never forget this one._

 _"Alright, class, everybody on your sits, please" Speaks the teacher in a calm voice. After all the kids groan but comply with the woman's instructions, she speaks again "Kids, we've got a new classmate joining us today" Her head turns towards the little girl "Come on, dear, tell us your name and where do you come from" Said girl nods enthusiastically and spins around to face the class, that cheery smile never leaving her lips._

 _"Hello everyone! My name is Caterina Valentine! It is a pleasure to meet you all! Me and my family are moving from Boca Ratón, a far, far away town from here" She introduces herself. She has a high-pitched, annoyingly cheerful voice. It's like the simple fact of being here makes her insanely happy._

 _"Thank you, Caterina. We hope you like it here. And for you all" She looks at the students "I know you'll make her feel like home. Now, you can take a sit where you want. Go" Encourages the teacher._

 _"I know we'll all be friends very soon!" Caterina chirps brightly and does as she's told, bouncing on the balls of her feet to go and find a spot to sit._

 _"Alright, class. Let's start with today's lesson..." You stopped paying attention since the new girl walked (skipped) away from the teacher's side so now you're entirely focused on your scissors again._

 _Swift cuts on the paper once, twice... you stop counting them, just relaxing as the sharp blades close on the sheet on your left hand._

 _"Hi" Someone whispers beside you. That catches you by surprise but what really makes you whip your head to the side is the fact that this person's voice is coming from the sit next to you and no one, freaking no one, ever since you started school, has ever taken the sit next to you "My name is Caterina" And then your brain finally registers the image of this girl and recognizes it as the new girl. You didn't even notice she took that sit. You only nod to acknowledge her presence, thinking this will make her stop talking to you. You're not used to it; it's weird._

 _And it works. For more than 10 minutes now this girl's been quiet, just writing something on her notebook, leaving you alone with your cutting once more. Nevertheless, something inside your mind tells you that this girl is not giving up so easily._

 _"So... I see you don't like talking too much, do you?" And... you were right. This little kid is persistent. It doesn't pass a minute before the girl starts talking again "Well, I do like to talk, a LOT. My father always tells me that I talk people's ear off, even though I don't really know what he means. Do you know what he means? I bet you do, because you look smart. Oh! Do you know who's not smart at all? My brother! I love him and all, but he does all kinds of weird things. My mom says is because he has these 'special problems' but I don't know what she means with that. Oh! That reminds me of one time when my brother..." And she talks, and talks, and talks non-stop for the rest of the day; sometimes during class (getting caught by the teacher from time to time), sometimes just following you around at lunch time, walking with you down the halls... whatever you can think of._

 _There are some points where she really gets into your nerves and all you want to do is to yell at her to shut the fuck up, to go bother someone else and to finally leave you the hell alone, but for some reason, although she has to be the most annoying, talkative and unbearably happy person in the world, you don't say a thing; you're showing your scariest scowl in all its glory, that's for sure, but you never really ask her to go, and you can't quite put your finger on the motives behind this unusual behavior of yours._

 _You try to convince yourself that the reason why you haven't made her leave is either because you're bored or because you don't care enough. But, deep, deep down you have the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you let her stay because, for the first time in your life, you know what is like to have someone that doesn't look at you like the freak, like you are just a weird kid and therefore you don't deserve a chance; maybe, just maybe, it is because now you feel like you have that strange thing they call a 'friend', that sticks with you no matter what and talks to you with confidence and not fear or disgust in their voice, and maybe, just maybe, even if it's in the slightest bit, you like it. Not like you're ever going to admit it._

 _"And that's why we go twice every month to the animal hospital" Caterina ends one her many bizarre stories about her brother with a smile, as if she was talking about nothing out of the ordinary. You're walking home together since she wanted to spend more time with you and apparently your houses aren't more than a few blocks from each other "Oh, phooey! Here's where I have to go to the right and you have to go to the left!" She pulls her bottom lip out in a childish pout and you will never say it out loud, but you think is cute somehow. Suddenly, her face lits up as if she just remembered something "Oh, but I'll get to see you tomorrow in class! Yay!" She bounces ecstatically for a moment and, out of nowhere, she does something you will never forget: she hugs you. Not just a light embrace but a bone-crushing hug where the death grip of her arms around you barely allow you to breathe. That's why you don't push her away, because you're not able to. Yeah, that's why "See ya tomorrow, new best friend!" She exclaims after releasing your body mere seconds before you had to pass out in a lack of oxygen. Then, she spins to the right, skipping happily down the street (maybe that's her normal way to walk)._

 _When you're about to turn around and leave, her high voice catches your attention once more "Oh, I almost forgot!" She says a few feet away, using her hands as a megaphone (even though she doesn't need it) "What's your name, new best friend?" You think it is the way she smiles, or maybe the innocence in her voice, or how her big brown eyes reflect the afternoon sunlight the thing actually making you want to answer that question._

 _"Jadelyn West" You say with a little bit of uncertainty that is immediately melted away by the shorter girl's huge grin._

 _"See you tomorrow then, Jadelyn!" She waves her hand goodbye vigorously before spinning around and keep walking towards her house._

 _You stay there a little longer, just watching her go: the way her feet move barely touching the pavement, how the breeze dances through her curly hair, how it looks so much like a painting the way her form distance from your spot until it disappears around a corner... and while observing all of this, you're not able to keep the stupid smile from creeping its way up your lips._

 _ **Pleasures remain**_

"Oh my God! Is that an Ice Cream truck?" Cat gasped, her chirp snapping Jade out of her daydream abruptly "Oh, God, I think it is. Can you hear it?" Still a little bit startled by Cat's sudden squeal breaking her previous stagnation, she barely processed the new information and slowly shook her head no "What? But I can hear it. I'm sure it has to be an Ice Cream truck! Be right back!" And before Jade could compose herself utterly Cat was on her feet running her legs off to try and catch that crafty truck.

She never understood how Cat had that kind of superpower, but she was able to listen to any Ice Cream truck inside a very long radious. Once it took her like two hours to come back but when she did, it was with an ice cream cone on her hand and a triumphant smile on her face.

Regardless of the initial confusion, Jade just sat there, in silence as usual, her heartbeat starting to race and her breath becoming heavy all the while watching in slow motion that so tragically familiar image: Cat's frame moving away until it disappeared around a corner, making her drift into the horrors her mind for some reason wanted her to drown in so badly.

 _Something makes you stay a little longer, observing the now empty street Caterina walked down of mere seconds ago, waiting for all the events of the day to sink in and finally make sense, because it may give you the reason why this weird kid had such an effect on you._

 _After a while you give up and decide to go home already, since you've come to the conclusion it has no use to try and give an explanation to something you can't even fully understand; maybe it was bound to happen or something like that._

 _Your feet move in a happier pace now, and you find yourself actually enjoying the walk home, not caring if it's stupid to wish keenly for the day to be tomorrow so you can see that peculiar girl again. You think that then you'll talk to her instead of just letting her be the one talking; maybe, when she hears your voice she'll beam at you that dimpled smile again, like she did when you told her your name._

 _That last thought makes you stop keeping the goofy grin from making its full appearance on your lips. Maybe this is the one special friend every person has, and therefore you'll not be alone anymore; maybe, from now on, you'll have each other, and your days will be brighter and happier._

 _You've heard before that, when you find your special_ _—_ _'best friend', like she said, you're supposed to share everything with them. You're not so sure, though; could you really ever tell her about what's going on at home? How Dad's not the sweet, caring husband and father he pretends to be? How Mom is not the happy, carefree wife and mother she tries so hard for people to believe she is? Could you ever tell her? How would she react? You don't know it and honestly you don't want to think about it either. You just want to enjoy the feeling of having found (or maybe having been found by) a friend just little longer._

 _Five minutes later you can already see your house getting closer from the distance. It looks so pretty and happy on the outside, like any other house with a happy family living in it, only it's not; there's something completely different on the inside. Nothing can be happy there for too long._

 _When you reach the door you take your keys out of your pocket and open it, closing it softly after getting inside._

 _Scanning your surroundings (just in case) you see that everything's normal: quiet, lonely, overflowing despair._

 _Yup, nothing's changed since you left for school._

 _The only thing that doesn't quite fit on the picture is your Mom, who's currently sleeping on the couch; her and Dad's fights_ _—_ _well, more like Dad's outbursts, are becoming more and more frequent, so naturally Mom's been crying more and more. She spent the whole night before crying. You know it because albeit she tried to be quiet and even went downstairs not to wake anyone up (that would've been BAD), you heard her, so you cried too, and when you finally stopped, when there wasn't anymore water to come out of your eyes and stream down your cheeks, you couldn't go back to sleep. So you heard Mom crying the rest of the night. She deserves to get some sleep now. So, even if you're not very much of a sandwich fan, you make yourself one and go upstairs as quiet as a mouse._

 _You don't have any homework to do so you toss your dark purple backpack on the floor next to the door after closing it. Then you place the sandwich on your nightstand for within a few hours when you get hungry, and shortly after you throw yourself heavily on your bed, landing face first on the dark green bedspread._

 _Turning around to face the ceiling, your young but oddly and unfortunately tired mind roams through this morning memories, recalling a certain chocolate-eyed little girl, the way the classroom echoed with her annoyingly high-pitched voice, the way it resonated on your ears all day driving you crazy, the way she smiled showing all of her white, childish teeth, the way her face lit up when you told her your name... wandering along those thoughts, you don't even notice when you drift off into a deep slumber, a small and very rare smile placed on your lips._

* * *

 _"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" A loud, raspy yell startles you out of your nap and you automatically whip your head to the right: 9:45 pm. is what the red numbers of the digital clock say. If he gets out of work at around 8 and he's just arriving home that means he was at least an hour at the bar before getting here._

 _This is BAD._

 _"Richard, please, I can explain you_ _—_ _"_

 _"NO, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" A sound, barely a whisper, but somehow explosive, sharp and hard, sneaks its way to your ears, hurting them, piercing its way inside your brain. Just one little sound, one you've come to recognize so well, one you know so much about and one you've grown to loathe over the years: a slap. Not just one, though. It repeats itself several times._

 _"I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't even n-notice when I fell_ _—_ _"_

 _"I'M SO SICK OF THAT BULLSHIT, AMELIA! FUCKING SICK!" Not knowing what else to do, you run as quietly as possible down the stairs. Mom once told you you shouldn't do that, that it was dangerous to run on the stairs and you could fall and hurt yourself if you did, but right now you don't care. She'll forgive you later._

 _"Please stop!" She screams when you finally get down the last step, and the mere moments you see from the scene taking place a few feet away drain all the oxygen from your lungs; a tight, maybe too tight knot forming on your throat, squeezing firmly: Mom's on the floor, crying hard, writhing, face red and swollen on multiple spots, struggling against Dad's tight grip on her hair, pulling at it using the force of one of his big, agressive hands, leading them both inside his study, disappearing from your sight._

 _"YOU'LL FUCKING LEARN TO SHUT YOUR SLUTTY MOUTH, YOU WORTHLESS WHORE!" Frightened, you don't even know how your trembling legs drag you there, step by step, light feet touching the ground. A wave of dizziness flooding your brain almost entirely, making it almost impossible to focus on anything; the only information registering is the unbearable preassure inside your chest, crushing your heart, every beat a painful and incredibly loud blow to your pounding head._

 _"No, please! Stop! I'll do an_ _—_ _"_

 _"YOU ONLY HAD TO DO MY GODDAMN DINNER AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT! YOU USELESS BITCH!" The door of the study was half open, so you open it fully with a quivery hand, only to find one of the most horrid scenes you've seen in your life (the worse is yet to come): Dad's sitting on Mom, hitting her repeatedly with his big, rough, now blood-stained fist; Mom's bottom lip is bleeding, just like her nose and her right cheekbone; her face is covered in bruises, some purple, other red, light yellow, green, dark blue... it's horrible, frightening, a real nightmare. More tears escape your eyes uncontrollably, and you don't know how you make it, but only after a few milliseconds of watching your Dad's rage you finally swallow the lump in your throat._

 _"Dad, stop, please!" Maybe he doesn't hear you, or he prefers to ignore you, as usual, but you're not letting him, not this time "DAD, STOP!" And with that you run towards their spot and try to shove Dad off Mom, but of course it doesn't work. It only causes him to get angrier (you can tell by his scary aura growing strong) and with one of his large arms he pushes you aside, continuing his assault on Mom's face._

 _You whimper in pain when your back impacts the corner of his desk. You can't move. It hurts too much, it hurts everywhere, it hurts your brain, your eyes, your body, your heart "Dad, please! Stop! Please! Dad! Dad! Leave her alone! Please! Pl_ _—_ _"_

 _"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He yells, and only for a brief moment you think your pleas worked, because he's standing up, but relief is soon replaced by painful fear when he stomps towards you._

 _"Dad, please don't—" He slaps you, and it burns, and you cry harder, but he doesn't seem satisfied, not at all._

 _"SHUT THE FUCK UP, BOTH OF YOU! I'M SICK OF YOU! FUCKING SICK!" He takes you by the collar of your shirt and starts dragging you across the room, passing Mom who's apparently about to pass out. You never stop screaming, crying, fighting back, but it has no use._

 _"No, please! What are you gonna do? No, no please! Dad!" He stops in front of a closet and throws you inside._

 _"Richard, please, don't hurt her!" You will never know how Mom's able to even articulate a word after all she'd been through, but she is, surprising both you and Dad, and right after he's quickly closing the closet door and locking it._

 _"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!" He's turning around, you can see it from the spaces between the wood, and is now storming towards Mom._

 _"Dad, no! Stop!" You start pushing the door frantically. He's going to hurt her more, Mom won't be able to take it, you just know it, everyone in the room knows it "DAD!"_

 _"RICHARD—"_

 _"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO TO SHUT UP!" He reaches her and immediately sits on top of her again, his big hands now taking a death grip around Mom's neck, both your eyes and hers opening wide in terror._

 _"NO DAD, STOP! PLEASE!"_

 _"SHUT THE FUCK UP, JADELYN, I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE NONE OF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT UP!" Rivers cascade down your cheeks as your hands fly to your mouth, covering it, preventing it from doing any more noise that could make him angrier "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"_

 _His eyes have a deep, insane fire within, and it scares you even more, because you can see his grip on Mom's neck getting tighter and tighter with each passing second._

 _Mom's fighting, kicking, trying to get him to let go, struggling to take in the air she needs to survive, but is useless._

 _You can't move, though. You know you have to stay quiet, to keep your mouth shut, to just shut up, and still crying like never before (or after) you start praying silently to the heavens that have never heard you for him to stop, to not kill her, as the only favor you will ever ask them, and maybe he'll stop, maybe Mom will start moving again, maybe you'll wake up, maybe he'll stop, maybe he'll stop, maybe, maybe..._

 _Dad never stops. But Mom does._

 _ **So does the pain...**_

* * *

"Oh, my God, Jade!" Jade heard Cat calling from the distance, but she couldn't bring herself to look up, she was shaking too much "Jade, please, look at me!" She felt the soft touch of the redhead's hand on her back— she didn't even notice when she curled up into fetal position and covered her head with her hands. It hurt, it hurt too much "Jade, Jade, shhhh... it's okay. I'm right here" She could tell Cat was crying too, but that promise of safety within her tone made her words believable.

She managed to sit beside the Jade and wrap her arms around her (the goth instantly buried her face in the crook of her neck) in a tight, very tight embrace. She was trying to make her feel her presence, feel her warmth, her smell, her everything. She was trying to fight the bad memories with her.

 _She's here with me, she's here with me._

 _ **Words are meaningless**_

 _ **And forgettable**_

* * *

After what could've been hours with Cat whispering sweet nothings to her ear, the silent sobs eventually subsided, until there was left only the occasional little hiccup or sniff.

"You okay now?" The redhead asked slowly, carefully. It wouldn't be the first time Jade fell apart again after hearing that question. A few seconds passed, when she nodded her head, releasing a trembling sigh. Cat took a tissue out of a pocket placed on the left side of her sundress and delicately used it to wipe Jade's tear-stained cheeks, giving her a light kiss on the forehead after. She looked hesitant for a few moments before her silken voice broke the silence again "Was it... was it about that night?" Taking in a deep breath to stop her thoughts from traveling back to that specific episode again, Jade just nodded her head for the second time. Cat's chocolate brown orbs were still filled with concern, and now guilt was washing over her features "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gone, I never meant to—" Jade put her hands on the short girl's shoulders and shook her head softly, telling her she wasn't mad, a tiny, very tiny reassuring smile on her lips. She hugged the goth again, her arms snaking their way to her neck (she tensed only a little bit for a moment), and her slim fingers started to tangle themselves in her raven-colored locks. Jade's arms wrapped around Cat's narrow waist, the delightful smell of her hair entering the taller girl's lungs, gradually relaxing her until she closed her eyes.

 _ **All I ever wanted**_

 _ **All I ever needed**_

 _ **Is here, i**_ _ **n my arms**_

It was moments like that (after horrible episodes, like that) the ones that made Jade realize even more every time that, even after all she had been through, heaven couldn't be so bad if it sent her the most special angel it had to be there for her when apparently all hope was lost.

After that tragic night, seven years ago, when she was eleven and her father choked her mom to death, he was arrested and shortly after locked in jail for the rest of his life thanks to a phone call made to the police by one of their neighbors after they heard screams coming from the West's house. Jade never knew why they didn't helped her and her Mom before, but she didn't really blame them, not now at least. Cat had taught her to maybe not forget, but to forgive.

 _Cat._

She was a real angel, actually.

The one who supported her after hearing what had happened to her 'family', throughout all the legal process and even when she had to go back to school and confront all the whispers and stares from other students and pityful looks from the teachers.

Cat had always been there for her the entire time. It must have been really hard to comfort someone that lived what she had, but the redhead never let Jade drown in her own darkness, no matter how persistently it tugged at her feet.

Jade was put under the care of her paternal uncle Gary and his wife Joanne. Dad never talked about his family, and uncle Gary told Jade he tried for many years to contact them, but his brother always found a way to avoid it. The 'other Wests' were nice, kind, caring people, they really were, and when she had to move in with them they bought a new house ( _a house for a real family_ , as they told her, since they lived in an apartment before) close to her school (Jade asked to stay on that school because of a certain friend). Cat helped her to unpack and decorate her new room.

Cat even went along with the Wests for each one of Jade's appointments with the therapist, Mrs. Hansen. She mirrored Jade's confusion after Mrs. Hansen told the Wests she had Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and tried her best to comprehend the explanation she gave to provide her pale friend the right support she needed.

Whenever she'd have an _episode,_ Cat would always held her and wait with her for the bad monsters to go away, no matter how much time it'd take.

Yes, Cat was one of the most beautiful-souled persons Jade's ever met (if not the most beautiful), and she never understood how she fell for her, when she could've been able to get whoever she wanted, someone without so much problems, someone that didn't cause her to wake up at night and console them or wouldn't make people stare after a sudden panic attack. She never understood, but Cat made it seem like she didn't need to.

Cat was so beautiful, that she had always been there unconditionally.

That she never pushed Jade to know her secrets.

That she helped her to come back every time she left to a dark place.

That without even trying, she knocked down each one of Jade's walls, allowing the good things to come in once more.

That stopped calling her _Jadelyn_ and made others stop too after the first time she saw her flinching because it remembered her of when her Mom used to call her that.

That, even when she didn't have to, after the traumatic experience left Jade unable to utter a single word, she learned along with her sign language just so she could help the older girl to communicate with others (and to cominucate with her, too).

That actually cared about asking her questions that could be responded with a nod or a shake of the head because Jade, besides not liking sign language very much, hated it when people pitied her for not being able to talk.

Cat was so beautiful, that she never, EVER, reproached her the fact that 'Jadelyn West' were the only words she ever spoke to her.

* * *

Slowly, very slowly they broke apart from the embrace.

Jade noticed the dampness on the redhead's cheeks and carefully put her hands on the short girl's face, wiping the trace of her tears with her thumbs, smiling at her. She reciprocated the gesture by smiling back and taking one of the goth's pale hands still on her face in between hers and bringing it to her peach pink lips, kissing the palm lovingly, Jade's heart warming at the sight.

It wasn't that they were used to it. Everyone has their ups and downs, and neither of them were the exception. Recently Jade's episodes were much more frequent than usual (since after all those years they were almost rare), most likely because the anniversary of her Mom's death was very close and Cat knew it. Both also knew that that was the reason why the redhead tried so hard to keep Jade's mind distracted, and the goth would always be beyond grateful for her constant efforts.

With her free hand Jade caressed from Cat's cheek, across her jaw, down her neck to her shoulder. The redhead intertwined their fingers and brought Jade's hand to her lips again, kissing the back of it this time.

"Come one, Jadey, there are still a lot of places left on the list" She beamed at her one of her special from-ear-to-ear dimpled grin, one that she only showed her when they were alone and only for her. Then both started to stand up, dusting off their clothes. It didn't take much for Jade to notice them: there were two now melted ice cream cones laying on the ground, the ice cream splayed over the grass. Cat must have dropped them when she found her all curled up and crying. Jade didn't know her chest could feel so tight with emotion by something like that. Taking the redhead in her arms one more time, she kissed her forehead before leaning down and pressing her lips against hers in a soft, incredibly gentle and infinitely loving contact.

That was Jade's way to say _I love you._

And Cat always understood "I love you, too" On a side embrace now, they started to make their way to all the 'adventures' the tan girl had planned, content, tranquil grins in place.

As Jade stared at her girlfriend's beautiful chocolate brown orbs shinning with sunlight, reflecting the unconditional love within her own, she knew she wouldn't trade those quiet moments for the world.

The cold was replaced with a warm and soft hug, the loneliness with a lovely and loving company, the harmful words with calm and peaceful silence.

 _ **Words are very unnecessary**_

 _ **They can only do harm**_

* * *

El fin.

* * *

Soooo here I am again.

Yeah, I know it's been a LONG time but seriously, this semester was the toughest one I've had at school. It literally kicked my ass until I couldn't even remember what Cade meant (and that's saying A LOT).

But now, I'm finally on my winter break, and I'm more than ready to start working on my passion again.

I've been working on this story for a while now (more than a year and half, actually) and of course is based on the song _**Enjoy the silence**_ by Depeche Mode (I strongly recommend you to hear it) and it's finally finished. I'm so sorry for any mistakes, English is not my lingua mater— besides, I didn't check the last 1000 words or so, so, I'm sorry xD

I have been feeling upset over all that Fifth Harmony drama going down, and more because I had become a Camren shipper and now all that's happening... it's just sad, so I felt like writing this.

This goes dedicated to my beautiful lil' sistah **seeyou-chan**. Girl, I really hope you like it. I love you, thank you for all your support.

Also special thanks to my dearest **brown-potato** , who I recently talked to again and helped me remember how much love I still had to write for this ship. Love ya, gurrrrrl.

Now I'm leaving, I still gotta go read one of my writer friend's story _**Was this all for nothing?**_ and review (it's a good story, actually, I strongly recommend it, too). Thanks to **NosferatuInSpace** (the author) for not only keeping this ship alive but for always encouraging my work. Thank you so much, you deserve some credit yourself! Love ya!

And lastly but not less important, a HUGE THANK YOU to the reader taking the time to actually read this story (feel free to check out my other Cade stories too, if you want to). THANK YOU SO MUCH, I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED IT!

I only ask you for a comment. They really make me smile even when I don't feel like nothing.

Love you all, and see ya later (very soon, I hope).

Royal Kisses!


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